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Top five weirdest intellectual conversations I’ve had at Cambridge

Do you know what they’re talking about? Me neither


Despite Cambridge’s reputation as a centre of intellectual discussion, some conversations I’ve had while studying here have certainly exceeded my expectations.

So, I thought I’d share with you the conversations which went so far over my head I didn’t even see them coming.

Yorkshire devolution? Yay or nay?

For context, this conversation took place at a formal where I was sat next to a German student from my tutor group. Even though he predictably didn’t know where Sheffield was when I told him where I was from, he did have an interesting take on whether Yorkshire should have a devolved government – à la Wales and Scotland.

In other news, the salmon was excellent (Image Credit: Leah Whiting)

Although normally I would absolutely be up for talking about the Yorkshire independence movement and how rubbish everything in the south is, I’m afraid the wine got to my head before anything intelligible enough to respond with did.

London discourse

Where are you from? London? What part? Although it’s hard to believe when looking at the university’s population, other places besides London do actually exist.

Nevertheless, this simple fact is of little help when I meet two new people who are inevitably both from the capital city and immediately start discussing what zone they live in, which school they went to, and what 45 acquaintances they have in common from home.

Have fun guys, I’ll just sit here like a lemon until someone asks me if I know the Arctic Monkeys again.

French is the language of love, or confusion

Inspired by a supervision with her favourite fellow, my friend was all too excited to share with me her take on Ronsard’s love sonnets right before bed.

Hard at work (Image Credit: Leah Whiting)

However, despite her (mostly) well-translated re-hashing of the tragic French love poems, I’m afraid I had little to contribute to her passionate descriptions other than a few tears excited by my exam-induced constant state of stress.

If I were in a simulation, I wouldn’t be this stressed

Finding myself eating brunch at 2pm in my pyjamas again, I suddenly began to question whether this could conceivably be my life.

Upon asking my friend whether she thought we could possibly be living in a simulation, she just said she would rather live in ignorant bliss rather than deal with this possibility. Such an apt response I had nothing further to contribute.

Touched starved students strike again

Whilst attempting to procrastinate from revision by staying up talking until 4am, we came to discuss my friend’s type in women and devising a plan to set them up. Their response was equally as surprising as the conversation was intrusive.

They were reasonably enthusiastic about the prospect, given the fact that they’ll have so much more free time seeing as NatScis have one whole less module to study in second year. After this I decided it was probably time to go to bed.

Where am I supposed to fit a girlfriend in? (Image Credit: Leah Whiting)

All these conversations I was so intrigued and flabbergasted by I couldn’t keep them to myself. Even though I probably should have.