The ultimate guide to becoming a BNOC
How to not be an NPC anymore
If you’ve been asking yourself: “how do I make it in this crazy town?” then this article is for you. Here are the top seven ways to instantly be recognised around Cambridge:
Actually wear your college puffer
Perhaps completely contradictory to the consensus, and to my previous article, “Top 10 Biggest Cambridge Icks”, I advise you to wear your puffer.
What better way to identify someone than by their college and initials? Plus you’ll soon be known as the person that wears their college puffer all the time.
Dress fashionably at Sidge
Sorry STEM students, this one isn’t for you.
Humanities students – what you wear is key; it’s Paris Fashion week every week at Sidge.
‘No sleep. Bus, club, another club, another club..’
Yes, you are unfortunately going to have to enter the Cambridge clubbing scene to be known in this place. Although you’ll just become a BNOC within the going-out clique, it’s better than no fame at all!
Bumping into your ex talking-stage, your college parents, that random girl from your seminars, and your tinder matches will upgrade you from a big nobody to a big name on campus.
Write Tab articles
The ick that is calling yourself a BNOC
We love a self-aware King/Queen. Never unironically call yourself a BNOC.
Do you hear David Attenborough flouting his fame? No, I didn’t think so.
Get a Crushbridge
If you haven’t read “Never been on Crushbridge? Here are some tips” read it after you’ve finished this. I know – getting a Crushbridge is harder than handing your supo essay in on time, but if you follow the first step you’re massively increasing your chances.
Once you get a Crushbridge, you’re set for life! If all else fails, be that person and write one to yourself because you deserve it.
Maybe do something academic?
Obviously, the students of the past like Newton, Watson and Crick who discovered gravity and DNA were the real BNOCs of their time. STEM students, we’ll give it to your predecessors.
I’m sure there are a few future famous comedians, journalists, researchers, and maybe even a future PM reading this article. Remember this article when you’re famous; it’s where it all began 😉
Signed, someone trying to become a BNOC themselves.