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POV: Lincoln buildings DM you on Tinder

It’s not just Valentine’s for us you know, what if the buildings want a pop at the dating apps?


It’s that time of year again. The dreaded number 14 on the February leaf of the calendar reminds us of something we almost forgot about over the recent deadline season. Dating. Everyone loves a good flick through the dating apps, setting yourself an admirable profile and laughing at other people’s. Sometimes, only sometimes, finding a profile that catches your eye. 

But what if it wasn’t just us in that boat? What if the buildings around campus and the city want to join in the fun? Here’s what we predict their dating profiles would look like. 

Minerva building 

“If you’re wandering around campus trying to find your lecture, chances are I’m your gal. I’m popular, provide snacks, and I’ve literally got a Nelson Mandela quote on me. What are you waiting for?”

Minerva’s favourite pickup line: Do you love a battle? Because I’m the goddess of war! 

The Library 

“You wanna come over? Anytime, baby, I’m available 24/7.”

The Library’s favourite pickup line: I know you want me, I can read you like an open book. 

Isaac Newton building 

“Nerdy guy looking for a cute gamer girl.”

Isaac Newton building’s favourite pickup line: I’m gonna make like an apple and fall for you. 

The Engine Shed and Towers

“Love a drink, hate a morning.”

The Engine Shed’s favourite pickup line: Baby, you quack me up. 

The Swan

“(If my doors are open then) I’m always down for a drink, but it’ll be an expensive night if you don’t have your student ID card…”

The Swan’s favourite pickup line: Are you a swan? Because I want to mate for life with you.

Alfred Tennyson building 

“I was born in the wrong century. I’m a poet. Ideal date is a walk round the cathedral grounds.”

Alfred Tennyson building’s favourite pickup line: Roses are red, violets are blue, just like a Victorian poem, I can’t resist you. 

Cygnet Wharf 

“I’m an attractive, modern girl who loves to party and take photos on my Polaroid. Fairy lights are my vibe!”

Cygnet Wharf’s favourite pickup line: Are you a magnet or a first year student? Something is drawing me in!  

Junxion 

“If you want the perfect mix of being close to campus and close to the shops, I’m the one for you. I’ve got everything right at my doorstep. Honestly, I’m just perfect!”

Junxion’s favourite pickup line: You must be in the library, because I can tell we’re about to be real close. 

West Parade

“I might be just a road, but I’m actually really lovable and soon I’ll feel just like home. Please, give me a go? My street lights stay on all night, I promise.” 

West Parade’s favourite pickup line: Are you an old house that’s been falling apart ever since 1870? Because you’re just adorable to me. 

The Castle 

“Come over for story time and chill, I have hundreds of tales to tell.”

The Castle’s favourite pickup line: You’re the queen of my castle. 

The Cathedral 

“Icon.”

The Cathedral’s favourite pickup line: Are you the Lincoln Imp? ‘Cos you’re gonna be all over me.

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