Clubbing for dummies: The ultimate guide for the perfect student night out in Newcastle

The do’s and dont’s for a smooth night from start to finish


Clubbing is like a right of passage for students past and present. But Newcastle students are faced with a problem few other cities are privileged enough to be faced with – where to go? We are absolutely swamped for choice up here, with clubs catering for every genre, every social and every night of the week. What could go wrong? Well, it turns out – a lot. So here’s a simple guide to guarantee your night out goes swimmingly.

Pres

While not essentially “clubbing”, pres is a key factor within the clubbing experience in Newcastle. You always have to set the tone for the night out you are about to embark on.

Everyone drinks like there’s no tomorrow, when in reality they’ve likely got lectures at 9am. And best of all, this is the only point of the night you can sit down and drink without looking boring or unexcited for the great night ahead. But of course I must mention Market Shaker; the absolute best location for pres other  than staying in your flat.

What day and where? 

The night you decide to go clubbing is low key the deciding factor towards whether your night out will be great or average at best. Arguably, the best nights to go clubbing would be a Monday or a Thursday. Obviously, you’ve got Wednesday for your sports social nights at Soho, but negating that… a Monday or Thursday would be ideal.

On these days, you’ve got top tier clubs such as Grey’s, who host both Oops on a Monday and Swingers on a Thursday. You’ve also got Shaker, which is great most days of the week (including both Monday and Thursday) and although some may see it as a bar, it certainly has club vibes. Plus, entry is always free.

Skint at The Points is another honorable mention for a Thursday clubbing night, as well as Tup Tup, depending on your music taste. And finally, for a Tuesday, another honourable mention would be Groovy Disco Tech at World HQ for your techno music fix.

Additional mentions

A Wednesday night is another great night that is quite good for a clubbing night out. Your best bet is Soho on a Wednesday, when it’s sports social night.

It’s guaranteed to be insanely packed with people dressed up as Smurfs, or some other cartoon character but nonetheless, the different floors with different music make it one of the best nights to go out clubbing during the week if fun and chaos is your vibe. Your night at Soho will always be memorable, to say the least.

Etiquette/ground rules

  • Avoid going out on the weekend – too expensive, too busy with locals, average at best.
  • Do not go out on a Wednesday unless you’re prepared for the amount of outrageous costumes and rugby lads in dresses.
  • Do not be that person asking for things from people – vapes, lighters, all the rest.
  • Simply put, don’t try to be a twat – just let people past when they ask.
  • Enjoy yourself, most of all – do not kill the vibe

After

One short thing to mention – going to the local Toon Takeaway or Maccies after clubbing is an essential part of the night. The best time to wind down and get some scran – always preferable over an afters of course.

However, be prepared for the long queues that will have you waiting for an hour before you get your food and before you can get back into your bed after a successful night out – if you follow this guide, that is.