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Ranking the places you’re most and least likely to run into your ex in Lincoln

Why are you at the Lincoln Imp in the first place?


It’s that time of the year, exams are here and all the seats in the library are taken. Although you’ve probably joined the rows of nerds across campus, one group you might want to avoid sitting near is the one with your ex in it. So to avoid any unfortuante situations here’s a list ranking the places you’re most and least likely to run into your ex in Lincoln so you don’t have to do that passive aggressive catch-up every two to three months.

The Minerva Building

Probably the pimp of all University of Lincoln buildings as that Nelson Mandela quote isn’t fooling anyone. You’re most likely to run into your ex stood waiting in the queue for hot food and who knows it could perhaps reignite that spark. Instead of being a quirky rom com moment though, it might play off as two people staring at each other holding wet panini’s. Plenty of floors to run off to and rooms to cry in makes this spot an ideal place to run into your ex.

Lose them in the revolving doors next time.

Museum of Lincolnshire Life

Far too much history between us – and the World War One memorabilia I suppose.

Stories of local soldiers and vehicles puts meeting your ex in quite the mood to undergo conflict. Luckily enough, it’s home to a Victorian esque police station to lock them away in if things get too heated. Although the chances of finding your ex here would be close to zero, unless you stalked their snap maps.

The free entrance is a plus.

Aldi

Clean up in aisle four. One minute you’re grabbing the Super Noodles, the next you’re grabbing the tissues as you know you’re in for a tough night after seeing your ex on the classic date to a supermarket. That freezer aisle might be as harsh and cold as your last love. You’re very likely to see your ex here but maybe combat the urge to run them over with the trolley and just go with an awkward half smile before running off to find some eggs. Even if the trolley idea’s more tempting.

Friday Night Pres

Sip your Vodka Coke menacingly.

Home Nightclub

Murder on the dance floor. You deserve a night out after slugging out another 400 words of your dissertation even if the ex popping up has caused the Friday night to be ruined. Of course someone says to go clubbing and you end up weirdly bumping into one another in Home. Oddly alike the Minerva Building, this spot being perfect for running into your ex, and away from, with its vast array of different floors and loud speakers allowing for a confused “sorry I can’t hear you” getaway.

Sampling ‘Goodbye My Lover’ isn’t helping first floor DJ. Curse you James Blunt.

Bransby Horse Ranch

That’s not a horse… that’s my ex wife.

Plenty of barrels and hay bales to hide behind makes this spot a perfect place for the good old great escape. Added bonus of the horses making you look like the dreamy “long walks on the beach” type of person, even if they know you never did that. Nontheless, there’s nothing like a Horse Ranch being a great way of saying you’ve moved on if you happen to meet your ex here, which is again highly unlikely.

Apparently the dress code wasn’t “sultry cowboy rancher”.

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