What would the Bristol Uni libraries be like to date?

This is not a dating guide about people, it is about actual inanimate buildings


Everyone has a favourite study spot and it’s easy to get attached. They all have their own unique vibe so we conducted an essential investigation into what each of them would be like to date.

Would they be a gentleman and take you to dinner or simply hit it and quit it leaving you heartbroken? We’re here to answer your burning questions and add a new perspective on your choice of library; don’t be caught out falling in love with a library that has you on their roster.

If you find yourself so single that you don’t have anyone to create imaginary scenarios about in your head, then why not daydream about the uni buildings?

The A.S.S.

The ASS would be absolute serial dater. Their most used app is Hinge and they are genuinely linking people 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

There’s no chance you don’t already know someone who’s been there and done that already. They have no charm, no charisma but they are still the one you call when it’s one am and you just need to get the job done.

Wills Memorial Building

Definitely an Oxbridge reject who tells you the only reason they didn’t get in is discrimination against private schools. Other topics on your first date include the job they have set up for after graduation at Daddy’s company, the time they met Boris Johnson and their golf handicap.

Beacon House

I feel like Beacon House would take you on a coffee date, probably to Bakesmiths. Would pay for you even if alternative milk costs extra. Has some hoes but they consistently come back so you know they’re doing something right. A 10/10 and treats you right.

Senate House

Would tell you that “they know a place” for your first date and then it’s the Clifton Observatory, but the view is still pretty so you don’t mind.

Tries to play you their underground music taste, and you don’t know how to tell them you’ve already heard of The Smiths. It’s a nice situationship until you find out they never wanted to be serious; it hurts more than your two-year break-up did.

The Hawthorns

The Hawthorns has no social media, and you don’t know a single person in common. Every time you mention them, your friends have no idea who you’re talking about.

Would probably take you on a date to the most random café in the depths of Clifton that you had no idea existed. Replies once every three to five business days.

Arts Complex

You probably met them on your course and talked to them because they sounded clever and looked pretty. No commitment issues and your parents love them.

Would take you on a classy dinner date and then walk you home and leave with just a kiss. Possibly the love of your life, but after uni the distance is too much. Right person, wrong time.

Medical Library

I feel like you would meet in their sixth year, but they’re just too busy to date you properly. Pros: They have been in Bristol long enough to know every good place to take you on a date. Cons: Have been through five hundred uni talking stages and at this point all their friends are medics.

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