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The 11 biggest lies Lancs students tell themselves during Freshers’ Week

You might realise you’re a compulsive Freshers’ liar xoxo


Welcome freshers! It’s your first week in Lancs, you’ve just moved into your new flat and you’re making the very important decision of where to put your fairylights in your room. There’s so much to think about in Freshers’ Week, but you’ll probably realise a lot of the things you tell yourself this week was a big fat lie. Freshers’ is mad, and we don’t blame you for lying to yourself if it gets you through. Beware, if you catch yourself thinking these, it’s probably a porky pie.

‘I won’t spend every night in Sugar’

Freshers’ is the only week where Sugar is open every night, so you have to make the most of it, right? You might not have planned to go to Sugar every night, but it won’t be hard for your new flatmates to convince you to come out to Sugar’s Willy Wonka night. Maybe you’ll find yourself “only going for pres”, but we all know that ends up with you in Sugar with a VK in your hand.

‘Greggs is overrated’

This is a LIE. This is BLASPHEMY. Greggs is a saviour. You won’t realise what the big deal is now, but when you’re rushing to a 9am and all that’ll get you through is a Greggs brekkie, you’ll understand.

‘I won’t get all my meals from Sultans’

Sultans is another holy grail here at Lancaster University. Although you probably promised yourself you’d learn how to cook, that homemade spag bol doesn’t hit the same as a Sultan Smash Burger, so who can blame you?

‘I’ve made so many besties in Freshers’ Week’

While you may be one of the rare breeds who finds their people in Freshers’ and sticks with them, you’ll probably find that the girl you stuck with in Sugar actually isn’t your new BFF. When term time rolls around, you’ll get to meet a lot more people, and you’ll find your actual best friends.

‘I’m not gonna get lost on campus’

Maybe you’re a geography student and know how to read a map, or maybe you’ve just convinced yourself campus isn’t that big. Trust me, you will get lost in your first few weeks, but once you know your way up and down the Spines, you’ll be grand (apart from the maze that is Bowland North).

‘I’m not homesick’

Moving to uni is a big change, so you’ll probably deny that you miss your family as you cry looking at pictures of your dog. It’s okay to embrace the homesickness, but know it will pass.

‘I don’t have enough pics of the ducks’

You’re not a Lancs Uni student if your camera roll isn’t filled with pictures of the ducks. I’m not sure if the novelty of watching them waddle through Alex Square ever rubs off to be honest.

‘The ducks are cute’

This may seem contradictory to the last one, but the ducks are secretly terrifying. They will come after your Greggs sausage roll crumbs, and they show no fear. They seem innocent, but you’ll soon realise thinking they’re cute was a big lie.

‘I won’t commit flatcest’

It might not be someone in your flat, but it might be the flat adoptee, and that’s just as bad. Everyone tells you to avoid it, but it somehow happens.

‘I definitely need that many clothes’

You brought your whole wardrobe from home. Summer clothes, fancy dress, things you haven’t worn in years but you convince yourself you might need it. Now you’re looking at everything you brought and wondering if it was absolutely necessary. But, you sat squashed in your car for hours, so you have to justify it.

‘People care what A-levels I did’