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This is exactly what your Durham halloween plans say about you as a student

Trick or treaters are girl mathing x


Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and dead became blurred… which sounds a lot like my mental state after a hallo-weekend in Duz. With the spooky season creeping up, it’s time to see what your Halloween plans of choice say about you.

1. Movie Night

You’re either in your wholesome granny era or had a feral start to term and are under financial house arrest. You’re having a blast in your grimy Viaduct kitchen but are treating the black mould and silverfish as free Halloween decor. Bonus points if the scary movie of choice is The Cat in the Hat.

2. College formal

You are deluding yourself into believing you’re going to have a “formal” night when we all know you’re ending up in Jimmies. You treat this like the met gala and secretly judge the outfits of neighbouring tables whilst devouring a horrifying plate of overcooked chicken or an even scarier vegetarian alternative.

3. Clubbing

The only spooky thing about your night is your bank statement and Snapchat Memories. You’ve been absolutely violated by Bohemia photographers in your last-minute costume and the Facebook photo drop looks like a photoshoot from paranormal activity.

4. Spoons

You had no intention of making it out, but the cheap drinks have swayed you across the street and straight to Jimmies. Before you know it, you are treating yourself to a festive green Woodgate, and your 9am lecture is already doomed.

5. Trick or Treating

Some think you are healing your inner child, when in actual fact you are meal prepping by getting free sweets that will last you all year. This is truly efficient girl math and is exactly why you belong at this prestigious uni.

6. Sitting in your living room with the doors locked and lights off

You are an only child with no social skills so you avoid the front door like the plague. You are the kind of person who is terrified of children and will grow up to be a lonely cat lady.

7. House Party

You live off chaos and the idea of this party definitely outweighed its execution. By the end of the night, you can’t differentiate between fake blood or real and if you get your deposit back, you’ll be lucky. Your landlord won the trick or treat with this one.

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