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Listen up, Exeter: Here’s what your Halloween costume definitely says about you

Prepare for Judgement Day


October is coming to an end and there’s only one thing on our minds, and no, it’s not Scott the Pret barista. Forget him, forget coursework and dissertations and let’s focus on what really matters: Halloweekend. It’s time to raid your wardrobe for anything slutty that can remotely pass as a costume. It’s easier said than done though as finding the perfect balance between fun, sexy, and original is a delicate task. For one night only you “can dress like a total slut, and no other girls can say anything about it”. There’s no limits. So, grab your Primark push up bras and fishnet tights, it’s showtime.

Angel/devil

We’ve all been there, you got last minute TP tickets and your overdraft is already screaming at you. With this costume, you can throw on some Poundland devil horns and call it a day. Plus, your night definitely won’t be sin-free with this choice: You might as well have “single and ready to mingle” written across your forehead.

Couples costume

Approach with caution, this may be a triggering time for your single friends. Whether you’re going as Padme and Anakin or Hugh Hefner and a Playboy Bunny, we’re jealous of you either way. Your goal is to showcase the perfect couple because there’s definitely no problems in your relationship, right? Don’t worry, we’ll turn a blind eye to any shouting in the Fever smoking area.

TikTok trends

We all saw the trends of post-lockdown Halloween, so maybe this year keep your pirate and cowgirl costumes in the wardrobe, and instead swap them for Men in Black and Barbie – so original. Don’t worry though, you’ll be the ones laughing when everyone else’s fake blood won’t scrub off in the morning.

Ripped white shirt with blood

Now for the boys. You have five minutes left before pres and realise you have to put a costume together. No stress though, just grab one of your identical white T-shirts, rip it a few times, and smear some blood on the front. Sorted. We’re not angry, just disappointed – surely daddy’s wallet could stretch for something more original? Oh well. The angels and devils will love it.

Niche costume

If you’re dressing as something niche you probably think you’re better than everyone (and you kind of are). We commend your efforts, at least you’ve tried to be original. The downside is you’ll be spending all night explaining who you are to everyone. At least this will feed your superiority complex.

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