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Beer goggles and Taly-tinted glasses: Here’s a layman’s guide to flatcest at Cardiff Uni

Think you’re being stealthy? Think again


Flatcest: If you’ve not experienced it, then you’ll certainly know someone that has.

You’ve heard of people who have met their significant others this way, but you’ve also heard all the flatcest horror stories, so you’re weighing up options: Should I or shouldn’t I?

Well, we’re here to shed some light on the matter, and give some advice to those of you that wish to commit flatcest whilst in Cardiff.

No matter how hard you try, you’re really not that stealthy

Hey 007, your wardrobe may consist of all black and you might think you’re James Bond but sorry to break it to you, you guessed wrong.

Believe us when we tell you, no matter how much of a stealth master you think you are, it can be guaranteed that the rest of your flat already knows. That LBD of yours doesn’t quite enact invisibility, and your bedroom walls are only a millimetre thick, so keep that in mind when you think you’re being quiet.

FWBs (flatmates with benefits) doesn’t work, normally

Unless you’re the Grim Reaper of hearts, flatmates with benefits is just not a great idea.  From experience, we can tell you that one of you will probably catch feelings, and as we’ve seen on Love Island, living together has the potential to make things 100 times more intense than any relationship you’ve ever had before.

So remember to make sure you are both on the same page when you’re convincing yourselves that you’re “just” friends.

You may have been dick-matised

So, you might be reading this thinking that you’re already in too deep with your flatmate.

Perhaps, you think that you need to play hard to get to win their affection, or you find yourself thinking about your flatmate lots. Well, the best thing to do is to occupy your mind. You could spend time with your mates, join societies, or maybe take some time for yourself doing something you like.

Then, maybe you’ll realise that you’ve been hypnotised by the top-tier shagging.

Beer goggles and Taly-tinted glasses are a thing

It is true what they say, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder, and that one extra bev can be the difference between a good and a bad decision.

Remember, it’s only the first few weeks of uni, there are plenty of fish in the sea. So, take some time and decide if it’s worth getting with your flatmate or if other options should be explored first. Are they really what you want, or is it just because they’re down the hall?

Did you just say Flatcest could actually be fun?

Okay, so we’re turning it on its head now. Flatcest might be the greatest uni taboo of all time, but it’s actually not all that bad. If you’re into someone, and they just happen to be your flatmate who’s into you too, then go and enjoy yourself.

You never know, they could be your forever person.

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