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Eight of the different types of Glasgow boys you’ll find when scrolling on dating apps

Time to meet someone the old-fashioned way, I think


Have you ever spent what feels like hours swiping on dating apps, but everyone you see seems to be carbon copies of each other? I’m sure a lot of us have, especially this time of year when social media feeds are taken over by couples going to Christmas markets, drinking hot chocolate, and making gingerbread houses, all you want is someone to wear those matching pyjamas with.

When you spend so much time looking for a man on a dating app in one area, you do tend to see several of the same types of people. On Hinge, all their prompt answers begin to look the same and on Tinder, sometimes you really do see the same group picture twice on two different friends’ profiles.

So after some extensive (and very scientific, might I add) research, I have compiled a list of some of the types of uni boys you will for sure see on dating apps if your location is in the Glasgow area… and it doesn’t fill me with much hope for this cuffing season. Oh well, there’s always next year.

1. Glasgow club scene frequents

All the pictures on their profile are of them at Manuka, Bamboo and Firewater Thursday. This can sometimes be a bit of an immediate red flag because, personally I don’t want to date someone who goes clubbing with his mates every week Thursday through Sunday. But if you’re just looking for some fun…

2. The one on your course

Is this awkward or fate? Granted it gives you something to talk about, a line to slide in with, but if it doesn’t work out and you have to see them in a lecture hall every week? My attendance would drop even lower than it already is.

3. Business and economics students

Obviously a very popular degree, because every second swipe is a business boy. Maybe they’re just so toxic that they can’t keep a relationship so they’re all on hinge instead.

4. Strathclyde boys

Sometimes the Glasgow Uni wanker reputation can get in the way of a good conversation, and they’ll just bully you for having an “accent”.

5. Someone giving you shit for your degree in your messages

As an English lit student, I have heard it all. And honestly, fair enough.

6. Someone you’ve seen in HIVE

You’ll be scrolling through on a Tuesday sending likes without a care in the world, only to then see someone you matched with downing a Pint of Fun in Beer Bar on sports Wednesday.

7. A friend of a friend…of a friend

Do you send a like or not, what’s the etiquette? Like you’ve met once or twice on a night out and you’re mutuals on Instagram but is it weird to match with them or could it be the start of something new?

8. And of course, rugby boys

Simple pleasures: “Gym and rugby”. They are an epidemic, similar to the bed bugs in France except maybe more unavoidable.

Good luck out there, folks.

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