Forget the alphabet, here is the definitive A-Z of being a Newcastle student

There are so many words, phrases, and expressions you can use to describe the uni experience in Newcastle. From the ferret man on Northumberland Street and 24 hour Greggs – it feels like an alternate universe.

I also had to recite the alphabet multiple times whilst writing this up, get me back to primary school ASAP x

Arches

If you don’t have a poor attempt at an aesthetic picture of the iconic arches, do you even go here? I have one of many, pathetic and blurry images. It’s the thought that counts x

Also, why are there always so many people taking graduation pics here at random times of the year, I dread to think of how many I’ve unintentionally photobombed – however, ignorance is bliss.

Berrocca

One of the only things to save you after having three trebs to yourself. Stock up silly fresh, you have a lot to learn. From a fresher alumnus, this saved my life in first year.

If your student loan doesn’t quite stretch to Berrocca, just opt for some vitamin C tablets from Savers.

Cosy Joes

The number one place to prove to everyone why you haven’t got the X Factor. You feel like an absolute celebrity when you’re stood up on the platform singing your heart out to the array of 40-year-old men who are asking how old you are, despite having a wife and kids at home x

Drinking

You’re lying if you tell people you haven’t come to Newcastle just for the nightlife. With drinks so cheap basically everywhere, it’s hard to turn down. The first year in me really went all out and now I treat myself to one night out a week, I feel like a weak frail Grandma these days (I’m in second year).

Essays

To everyone’s surprise, we’re not here to dilly-dally with our friends, we, unfortunately, have 3000 word essays to complete. A mix of caffeine, crying and an all-nighter will have you fit right into the Toon. Thank God the Phil Rob is open 24 hours.

Freshers’ Flu

Despite being a second year and only graduating from the term “silly fresh” in June, I am forever haunted by this horrible disease that hasn’t left me since my first year.

Greggs

Yet another impeccable feature to grace Newcastle. I think I’ve spent more time in Greggs than lectures this year which is embarrassing to admit. You can’t go wrong with a sausage roll to sober you up at 3am though right?

Horrible weather

Arguably colder than the Antarctic, Newcastle is a humbling place to be if you’re used to the sun beaming in your eyes. There’s wind, rain and grey skies all year round – but that doesn’t stop me from wearing tops so small it would send my Dad into an early grave, RIP.

Initiation

Basically an opportunity to exploit the silly fresh. Some of the stories I’ve heard you’d think were from Reddit, they are that insane. The less said about these the better.

Jesmond Tesco

Am I the only person who feels like it’s the walk of shame in here? Always so many people, especially the ones you don’t want to see am I right x

Kissing strangers

Nothing says I’m a uni student like getting off with a randomer in the middle of a club. The best and worst part, is your friends filming it.

Looking for a house

Tell me why trying to find shelter for second and third year feels like The Hunger Games. It’s like the houses are being snatched up one by one and it’s survival of the fittest to find something of a decent price and is not a complete piece of shit.

It’s such an intimidating experience going to a viewing feeling like you’re intruding – you are. However also being on the other side, when someone is viewing your house – awkward compliments of your decor and white man smiles all around.

Market Shaker

The prime location for cheap trebs and songs everyone knows the words to. Also a great opportunity for pics in the iconic mirror when you’re off your face x

Northumberland Street

We all saw this one coming. There is truly no place like it. From terrible busking, wristband warriors and dancing men with no teeth – it’s an experience. I don’t recommend going hungover either, it’s the most overstimulating street known to man. So many noises, voices and sounds – HELL ON EARTH.

Overdraft

A word far too familiar to us students. Don’t get me started on that dreaded text – piss off HSBC for reminding me that I’m skint.

Phil Rob

The place you will find rather sleep-deprived, hungry and stressed uni students. Whether it’s silly fresh being too loud in silent study and people behaving like animals on level one, the Phil Rob houses many species of students.

Quiz nights

Whether it’s at the SU, North Terrace or The Lonsdale – we Newcastle students love a pub quiz. The competitiveness is second to none and can almost get you in a scrap with your housemates because they force everyone to say their answer which is inevitably wrong, very awkward.

Rusty’s

If you find yourself in here – get help x

I am a hypocrite, however, the scenes I have witnessed in here don’t feel real. Likewise, with Cosy Joes, why is half the place made up of 40-year-old men hoping to buy you a drink? What are you doing in a gay bar on a Thursday night love x

Soho pole

I am a victim of the Soho pole, as are many of us. The hangxiety the next day is brutal. Don’t get me started on the photographic evidence I will cry x

Trebs

What a beautiful creation, Shaker take my money x

I hate to think how much money I’ve spent on trebs. The three for £9 deal and being a lightweight goes down a treat, normally over the toilet the next day hanging my head in shame…

Uni wars

For some reason, there’s an intense hatred towards the Poly. Especially if you play sports, mega mega beef. It seems worse to get with a Northumbria student than commit murder…

VKs

Quite possibly the most sought-after drink in the Toon. Everyone and their nan drinks this. But more importantly, what colour you go for really sparks convo – rizz x

Wednesday Sports Night

From minions, eggs and babies (very odd) the sports nights are hard to miss. Mixing sports socials and Newcastle’s love for drinking, 90 per cent of the societies will be prowling Osbourne Road dressed as God knows what. There’s also a stampede of people running for the last metro – who needs the races?

X-ray

If you don’t head to the RVI at least once during your time as a Newcastle Uni student, you are blessed. From waiting hours to be seen and having an X-ray to then being told you’re “going to be fine” is so humbling.

Yummies Takeaway

The absolute love of my life. The £1 discount I shall take to the grave with me. The food, is immaculate, the vibes, perfection and service, impeccable. No complaints here.

Zzzzzz

In case you didn’t understand that’s sleep. I’m so creative x

Nonetheless, since becoming a student in Newcastle, my sleep has never been so irregular in my entire life. The opportunity to go out seven nights a week in Freshers’ really does ruin you.

Related articles recommended by this author:

• Here’s what your Jesmond Tesco meal deal says about you
• Trying to get through Wednesday socials as a non-sports student at Newcastle Uni
• Eight things in the Toon that are none of my business