string(7) "lincoln"

Here are the 10 red flags you’ll see at the University of Lincoln

If you fall into any of these categories, I’m sorry but do better.


We know everywhere has its red flags, some places have more than others. It’s no shock when you mention you go the University of Lincoln that someone will mention the infamous quote from The Inbetweeners: “Goodbye first rate education, hello the University of Lincoln”. That quote in itself is a red flag but, other than that we have compiled our top 10 red flags you’ll find around Lincoln.

That one person who thinks Steep Hill isn’t that steep

If you genuinely think that Steep Hill isn’t that steep? Then you clearly have not been stuck trudging up there on the day of the Christmas market stuck behind Grandma Jill and Grandpa Keith. It kills you. Don’t lie to us or yourself. Just accept the fact that the hill will take your breath away more than half the lads on Tinder.

Duck collectors

Whether you’re “accidentally” spending the night in someone else’s bed or you’re doing a house tour. If you walk in and see a shelf of Quack ducks, be very afraid. Not only will you see that person every week at Quack but they’ll more than likely be able to tackle you to the ground. If you want to see someone with Hulk-like strength, speak to a duck collector on a Wednesday night.

People who use the bridge when the train barriers are up

If you can walk straight ahead, what is the need to climb over the bridge? No one is stood there thinking “wow, I wish I was like you”. You just seem a bit silly going out of your way to make your journey harder.

The town centre TikTokkers

We all have seen the people in town with their mini microphones, especially on a night out, asking everyone what their icks are or “what’s the worst name for a lad?”. I just want to be in and out of Primark in 10 minutes before I break the bank and you’re here shoving a tiny microphone in my face. Red. Flag.

The Pigeon People

We have all seen those people who sit next to the Brayford and let the pigeons climb all over them as they feed them and the ducks. How are they not terrified? The fact they just sit there so calmly is scary, I would be screaming if one sat on my shoulder let alone twenty of them.

Mullets

Quack is a sea of mullets each Wednesday and you just know that they think they are bee’s knees. Instead of fighting over ducks, they should be in Texas saying “Ya’ll” and dancing to a bit of Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus. Yeehaw, am I right?

Celebrity cardboard cut-outs in the windows

From Shrek to Harry Styles, Lincoln has it all. Guaranteed you or someone you know has at least one cardboard cut out in their flat. It’s all a bit of fun and games until you’re walking home at 3am and a mini Gordan Ramsey is staring at you from a kitchen window. Will that stop you from buying one for your flat? Probably not.

The washing up pile

It doesn’t matter if they’re a fresher or not, if you walk into someone’s kitchen and there’s a stack of washing up, leave immediately. How are you a grown adult and unable to clean up after yourself? It’s embarrassing.

ATB doors being broken

Are they actually broken or does the uni just like to play tricks? It seems like every day one of the doors is broken and the next day the opposite door is broken. Just have one door if two are too much to handle. It’s embarrassing walking up to a door and it not opening and there being no sign to say it’s not working.

Rugby lads