If you got any of these presents for Christmas then you’re officially an Exeter student

Because we all begged mummy and daddy for another Schöffel

Christmas is an important time for soaking up the warmth of your heated home, eating as much food as you can and stocking up your suitcase with (free) pasta and loo roll from home. The holidays gave you a chance to relax after pretending to work in the Law library and a chance to scroll through TikTok for longer periods of time, (maybe you even re-downloaded The Sims). You’ll have hopefully had a relaxing Christmas of doing nothing and rotting in bed all day, unless you have an exam or essay due in January – peak. It’s so hard to keep up with the trends of being an Exeter student, what with all of us being unique and quirky, so one can only presume that whatever you got for Christmas has to keep you on par with the other Exetah girlies. So, here is a list of items you may have gotten if you want to make sure you are a true Exeter student.

1. A new North Face or Barbour

North Faces are timeless, but even more timeless when you are an Exeter student. We all make jokes about them but deep down it just is not funny – the power of the North Face is eternal. Barbours are slightly more original but still very much on trend in Exeter. If we have more snow in January, neither of these coats will hold up very well seeing as they aren’t waterproof, but no one really cares if you have posted a nice photo of yourself in it. They keep you warm and are very easy to pair with your mini Uggs. Make the most of it though because since the 21st of December, the days are getting longer and warmer. You won’t need to debate wearing it to campus or the club, just wear it whenever you can! Let’s be honest, we are all dreading the days when it gets too hot to wear coats anymore because putting away a slay, new Northie is going to hurt.

2. A new water bottle or reusable coffee cup

You either got a Stanley, an Air Up, or a new Chilly’s bottle. If you did not get any of those it’ll have been a Boden coffee cup or a reusable Starbucks cup. It’s too predictable. But hey, you will be hydrated! The Air Up bottles are trendy right now and if you pair one of those with a hungover Thursday morning, you might actually be able to get some water down. But, you aren’t going to wash any of these new items which is fine, because none of us wash them anyway, right?

You might be using this as a new gym bottle, so that you can use it for your hot girl walks. One of your New Year’s resolutions was to drink more water, so you might actually have a chance now. I know that my Typo water bottle was in the dark trenches from it being constantly overused, so maybe this present will inspire something new in your life. If you were lucky enough to get a reusable coffee cup and a Starbucks or Pret voucher, then your essays are about to go to a whole new level. Perhaps if you have your reusable coffee cup now, you can make yourself coffee or matcha before you go to campus so you can save even more money. Well, you’ll do it for a few weeks. Everyone who got a water bottle is going to both save money and start off their 2024 right.

3. A Waterstones gift card

Any gift card is acceptable for this one but Waterstones is definitely close to all of our hearts. I mean, you’ve unwrapped the literary universe with this present. Whether you are going to use this to buy the books for your course or to buy a book that you can actually read for fun (I know, shocking), a Waterstones gift card is always a perfect present. There’s big bonus points if relatives asked: “Do you want a Waterstones gift card again?” If the library is becoming a bit boring to you now and you find yourself in a routine, a Waterstones card also means you can have a browse in the cafe, which makes life slightly more manageable with the new term approaching.

4. New loungewear for the library

Where did you get yours from? Urban Outfitters, Hollister, or John Lewis? With the new term starting and your New Year resolution to spend more time in the library, the only thing that will fuel your motivation will be some slay outfits. There is something truly beautiful about a flattering loungewear set, something that you can both wear in the house but also to a morning lecture, because all of your besties will be so proud of you (for looking amazing and actually making it to campus). If you’re starting your “clean girl” era, a new woollen set is necessary to set you off on the right path or if you were given Tom’s Trunks, then you are only adding to the Exetah stereotype beyond what it once was.

5. Drinks for pres

Unwrapping drinks that you can use for pres is the only gift a broke girly could really want. Because, let’s be real, who needs an excess of socks when you can have a surplus of spirits? Packing your suitcase with food and toiletries courtesy of home (shoutout to mummy and daddy), with the other side full of vodka and gin is the true student experience. Gone are the days of sipping on budget Co-op wine and praying for mercy the next day. Now, your nights are about to become miraculously cheaper and infinitely more enjoyable – your taste buds are in for a treat! Sadly, these drinks will only last you for the first two weeks of term, so enjoy them while they last.

6. Urban Outfitters clothes or white linens

I mean, duh. You have to have your wardrobe renewed for Refreshers in January, so you may as well add some new tops to your TP Wednesday rotation. What is really unique to Exeter is how much individuality we all have in the way that we dress and I think that is something really integral about our characters, so we simply must continue this. Another pro to Urban Outfitters is the tote bag that you could get with the purchase – one can never have enough tote bags, especially when you go to Exeter. We have all acknowledged that they are the uniform here, so the delight at opening a present that comes with a tote bag is just pure luxury. 2024 is your year to stand out!

7. A Schöffel

I think we all made jokes about this one in Freshers’ Week but they have slowly crept back in as something that is normal and now everyone seems to have one. So, if you have got on board with this over Christmas, you have achieved the full Exeter form.

8. Hair products

Okay guys, the new season of characters is going to miraculously arrive in term two, and you have to impress them. I’m thinking TP with a slick back pony tail (so original), or a slick back pony tail with a braid. If you (like me) have been a bit jealous of everyone else’s perfect Pinterest hair, you can finally achieve this by yourself. Grab your housemate that knows how to do it, and force her to help you so that you can be the mysterious gal in your new modules.

Bonus points if you have any sort of hair product with a bow, whether it is a clip or a new piece of ribbon to tie into one. If not, there was probably a claw clip in the stocking somewhere, which you can piece with your loungewear. Woah, you got Olaplex? You belong at Exeter then and yeah, you look like Bella Hadid now babe, well done x

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