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Five New Year’s resolutions that Exeter students should definitely stick to, but won’t

Motivation vanishes quicker than Venoms on a TP Wednesday


The “most wonderful time of the year” has rolled by, stepping into a brand new one. Hello, 2024! Everyone’s buzzing with the “new year, new me” vibes but let’s be real, how many of us actually stick to the whole self improvement gig? Old habits die hard, but do you have what it takes to break the cycle? The vape in your hand on the way to the Forum says otherwise. So, here are all the New Year’s resolutions Exeter students should definitely stick to, but won’t.

1. Going to your 8:30am lectures

A moment of silence for all those who are cursed with early morning lectures – sincere apologies. That means a whole night of selling your TP tickets, bailing on your friends, and trying to fall asleep early. After a month of living in a warped time zone thanks to the holidays, your sleep schedule is ALL over the place! But, we must be disciplined. Set as many alarms as you can and wake up to embrace a beautiful day of learning (after all, you are paying for it).

2. A shot a day does NOT keep the doctor away

Rubbing alcohol? Sure, it’s a sanitiser but I can assure you that chugging 13 vodka shots down your throat does NOT benefit your health at all. Cue some violent vomiting, excruciating headaches and a bunch of cringey pictures when you drag yourself out of bed the next day. 2024 is the year to drink more water and stay hydrated.

3. Delete Deliveroo

Whether you’re trudging home after a full day of lectures or getting dumped by some bloke named Tarquin, the last thing you want to do is cook. A simple tap and a quick scroll through Deliveroo brings you all the convenience alongside some not so healthy food. Call it a “mental health day” or just sheer laziness, but this is one that’s definitely not good for the bank of mummy and daddy. Ditch the takeaway apps and invest in some cookbooks!

4. Get closer to nature

I hate to break it to you, but sitting next to a plastic fern in your room does not count. How about going for an evening run along the quayside? What about a picnic at Mincinglake Valley Park? When the sun’s out, go for a dip at Exmouth beach! Trust me, fresh air and the beauty of nature is all you need to feel totally rejuvenated.

5. Make the most out of university