Here’s what pancake topping you should have based on your Exeter Uni degree

It’s bad news for maths students

First and foremost, try not to be offended by what your degree says about you. I don’t make the rules, but I do make great pancakes. Your degree is guaranteed to give off a certain energy about you, and your chosen pancake topping also tells me everything I need to know about you. So, as today is Shrove Tuesday, let’s combine both these preconceived assumptions and see what pancake topping you may want to try this year to just let everyone know what degree you do. Are you a bog-standard lemon juice and sugar: reminiscent of your primary school days or could you be going above and beyond with a chocolatey, fudgy creation which is giving all the drama?


Starting off strong with a classic – Nutella and banana. English students love subjectivity and get a kick out of drawing futile connections between pretty much anything and everything. Trying to kid yourselves with making your pancakes that little bit more healthy with some fruit on top, your pancake topping I’m afraid, is as delulu as you.


There’s a general consensus surrounding those who study economics or similar degrees that you all suffer from god-complexes. Drowning out every conversation about talk of your summer internship and how much daddy spent on your signet ring, a plain and simple pancake is perfect to reflect your equally plain and simple personality. With the addition of some red berries to highlight your abundance of red flags.


It takes a special kind of person to study psychology and quite frankly, hats off to you. However, your incessant need to find the answer to everything and to overcomplicate life (you know you love a label), means the most suitable topping for your pancake is a bit of everything. I’m talking maple syrup, bacon, whipped cream, chocolate chips, fresh fruit, Biscoff, ice cream and an egg for good measure – a real mess just like you.


Much like your degree, your pancake topping is out of date. You guys are so fascinated with the past, I know you’ll go the extra mile to use that six week old Greek yogurt that’s been sitting at the back of your fridge and think “what’s the worst that can go wrong?” Although, there is a second option for you yesteryear enthusiasts. Without the obvious job prospects that a Finance degree holds, you will inevitably finish your three years by applying for what you think is a novel idea, a PGCE – what a surprise. By pushing your way through a 12 marker on “The Hitler Youth” in your local comprehensive, your secondary pancake topping is as predictable as you: lemon and sugar.


You don’t even get a pancake, let alone a topping. You sociopaths.


Aspiring solicitors, barristers and paralegals. We all know you enjoy residing in your ivory towers of power and justice, looking down on those below you. Well, I am afraid to tell you that much like the convicts you’ll be putting away, your pancake topping is equally as criminal – avo, smoked salmon and poached eggs. That’s right, a topping that gives a facade of bourgeois civility but, just how this topping doesn’t belong on a pancake, nor do you belong on that pedestal you’ve put yourself on.

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