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A definitive judgement on which Russell Group Uni these iconic Glee characters would go to

Will Schuester’s tight curls stink of Oxbridge reject


It’s been eight years since the final episode of Glee aired and all I can do right now is think about what Russell Group Uni the iconic characters would have gone to. This lot are truly a mix of beauty, brains and Will Schuester.

When you think about it, despite them being American, I can really picture them thriving in certain universities across the UK purely based on their vibe alone. For example Rachel Berry is soooo York and obviously Quinn Farbray would blend in incredibly well over in Exeter. So here’s what the iconic characters of Glee would be like at university and the Russell Group Uni they should have gone to.

Kurt Hummel – King’s

Kurt wanted to go to King’s because he wanted to keep an eye on Blaine but not come across as too much of a stalker. Like the rest of the King’s lot, Kurt cares about important stuff like the environment but before any of that even comes up in conversation, his number one priority is himself and how he looks to other people. It’s all about ticking those important boxes on LinkedIn and scoring the best grad job possible so he can show everyone back home how he’s made it in the big city of London.

Rachel Berry -York

Let’s face it, York is boring and that’s why Rachel belongs here. She’d spend her pointless university days endlessly wandering around the campus with the hopes to find Long Boi. She is the dictionary definition of dull and uni is wasted on her. She wasn’t cool to go somewhere like Leeds or Manchester, obviously. And no matter how much her mates hate it, she will always stream some form of musical theatre during pres.

Quinn Fabray – Exeter

Blaine just heard London in the uni name and decided that was the place for him. He drops his entire student loan on trips to the theatre and bubble tea. He has loads of cool mates and they all wear colourful Dr Martens and have satchel bags that look really lame but they don’t care!

UCL students never stop bragging about how great it is being in London but we’re the one’s laughing when they step outside for three seconds and manage to spend £20.

Will Schuester – Durham

Will is an Oxford reject all over and therefore he belongs with the rest of you. He spends hours every day convincing himself the college system makes the uni better but the rest of us know it’s not true. At the end of the day all he is is a man with a tiny personality, tight curls, tight jeans and a ridiculous variety of ugly vests purchased by daddy’s money.

Sue Sylvester – Cardiff

Sue would thrive in an environment full of rugby boys, she’s the classic girl who’d go in there with the intention of being able to fix all the boys. Another important talking point about Cardiff is the love students feel towards VK. One mere swig of a VK would evaporate any other Glee character but not Sue. It would enhance her behaviour, she’d put every single man in line and destroy the confidence of every woman who came across her path.

Mike Chang – Nottingham

He might be geographically close to Manchester but he’s not cool enough to be there. He would choose a pretty standard and mundane Russell Group because he can’t handle the brutality of being surrounded by people one million times cooler than him.

Mike is very mid so he’d go to a mid uni like Nottingham. You can really picture him on a week night in Crisis and he’d be on first name basis with all the bouncers

Artie Abrams – Oxford

Artie somehow fits every single person you’d expect to meet at Oxford. He gives off a secret millionaire vibe because he’d laugh at your jokes, dress like you and have similar interests but then out of nowhere you’d find out about his family’s apartment in Italy. He’s also excessively social and ready to take a dump on anyone who even entertains the classic joke that Brookes is better.

He also exudes the Oxford nerd vibe. He’s a science nerd and sleeps soundly at night knowing he’s in the top 0.1 per cent of the cleverest people alive.

Mercedes Jones – Newcastle

Mercedes loves a night out with good vibes and where’s better for a big night out than Newcastle? Messy pres with hours and hours to spend on getting ready. She can’t say no to those trebs from Shaker and will fall to her knees for any attractive guy seen walking around Jesmond in a North Face.

Brittany Pierce – London School of Economics and Political Science

Brittany is a maths genius and very clever and her intelligence along got her here. But annoyingly, and LSE students will relate, she will never achieve the Oxbridge clout because LSE is not Oxbridge and it never will be. I know, it’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s okay because like the rest of you, she will graduate and end up in a field completely unrelated to her degree.

Sam Evans – Sheffield

Sam would sing Wonderwall by Oasis until the early hours of the morning after a night out. He would be so content with the simple life that comes with living in Sheffield. Completely unbothered by the rest of the world and ready to die for Liam and Noel Gallagher. He’d also be swayed by the cheap pint prices and the iconic bars he’d find stumbling down West Street.

Emma Pillsbury – Cambridge

Emma loves a man in a tweed vest and that’s one of the reasons why she’d thrive at Cambridge. She will enjoy being surrounded by other intelligent people rather than the strange man with tight curls who sings all the time.

Like most Cambridge students, Emma will stress out over work 24/7. Part of her yearns for a normal uni experience but she’s aware she’s getting the best education possible so she snaps out of it quickly. Despite her overriding concerns over going full-blown posho, she’s loving the balls and formals. But don’t worry, after graduating she’ll get invited back to her sixth form to give a talk on why Cambridge isn’t that elitist anymore.

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