Brace yourself, here’s all the most unhinged Saltburn merch available to buy right now

For those times when a poster or tote bag just doesn’t cut it

After watching the master piece/trauma dump that is Saltburn, there were many questions if the merch would be cute, quirky, or just straight up unhinged. From candles to socks people have come up with their own spin on the merch. Funnily enough, the majority of them are based around three scenes in the film, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you which ones. So here are some of the more unhinged pieces we’ve found for the real Saltburn fanatics.

1. The Bathwater Candle

Let’s be honest, we’ve all seen this candle. Ever since Jacob Elordi was handed it on The Tonight Show and replicated slurping noises, it’s taken the world by storm and most people who watched the film have likely invested in one. Obviously, it doesn’t smell like the bathwater (that might be a bit too salty) but it’s funny and it’s an understated way of showing favour for the film.

2. Vampire Candle

Keeping on the theme of candles, this was another one I came across in my search. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t know if this is a candle I would be keeping burning for too long. This candle with make you reminisce of THAT scene but this time with the comforting smell of berries, hopefully making it a bit bearable and easier to watch.

3. Bathtub socks..?

I don’t know where to start with this one. The film was weird but somehow having socks that say “I don’t always drink bathwater, but when I do I like it Salty” seems weirder. But maybe that’s just me. I do have a sneaking suspicion though that if you were wearing these they wouldn’t be on show, they’re not exactly fitting for the socks over leggings look that everyone’s been rocking.

4. Graphic T #1

We all know the phenomenon of girl dinner, but let me introduce you to the ultimate boy dinner. Felix’s bathwater was obviously Oliver’s boy dinner and I’m pretty sure Barry Keoghan is now everyone’s dream girl dinner so why not wear this T-shirt with pride and announce to everyone that yes, you do love Saltburn, and you hold no shame in that.

5. Graphic T #2

You have to admit, the originality from some of this merch is incredible, I really want to know what was going through people’s head when they thought that talking about grave humping would go great on a t-shirt specifically one about a love poem. From afar it just looks like you’re a big Barry Keoghan fan, but once you get closer you realise first impressions aren’t everything and it’s a bit weirder than you would’ve expected. Much like the film.

6. Grave Card

With Valentine’s day right around the corner, this is the perfect card to get your loved ones to show them just how far you would go for them. Although if you are even considering going this far for them, I implore you get some help because this is not normal and the fact the Barry Keoghan improvised this scene makes me question his sanity or his level of commitment an acting role.

7. ‘Saltbomb’ bath bomb

If you’ve not been able to get *that* bath scene out of your mind since watching Saltburn then possibly the most unhinged piece of merch to come out is this limited edition Saltbomb bath bomb from Lush. It’s formulated with coconut milk to turn your bath water into a creamy-milky colour without the need of the “exercise” Felix did in the film. It smells absolutely divine too.

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Featured image credit via Etsy