What your favorite spot in Teviot says about you

As someone who probably spends more time at Teviot than I do my own flat, I’ve gotten to know our student union pretty well.

I’m practically there daily, and when I’m not, I’m still thinking about the curly fries. It’s my home away from home away from home, and I’m well versed on the vibe of each space.

I’m also well versed on how early you have to get to Teviot to get a table in some of the rooms (looking at you, New Amphion), so it was time to make fun of everyone for their favorite choice:

New Amphion

The OG study space. The first place you probably discovered in Teviot, following the smells of espresso and the sounds of the same two public domain songs on repeat up the main stairs.

If this is your favorite space, you’re definitely very Type A since most days all the tables are full by 10:30am. You’re probably a coffeeholic, too, or maybe you’re just obsessed with their pastries (the chocolate croissant is worth obsessing over, tbf).

If you’re not shaking with caffeination by noon, you’re not doing it right. The airy academia vibe of our student union cafe is your favorite part, but you probably like the Christmas decorations even more (and you’re completely right). You’re also most likely to run into a bunch of people you know here during the day, and you like that—a quick five-minute catch-up with a friend never hurt anyone.

New Amphion Study

Yeah. You want to be Type A, little Miss/Mister/Mx academic weapon, gets up at 7am and is done with their work by 10am, but you’re not quite there.

When you finally do get to Teviot to study, all the seats in the cafe are taken. However, you’re not an amateur (nor a quitter), and you know about the handy little side room right off the main cafe space, with a quieter vibe, and the added perks of a microwave and hot water tap.

You also maybe appreciate how you won’t run into anyone here, because small talk isn’t your thing. It’s an enormous room, and those of us that are really into the bird’s eye view of the upper levels of New Amphion and the Library Bar can still get that without rushing to the space when it opens in the Study room’s upper level.

You really live the life hack lifestyle, and I have to respect it.

Library Bar

Whether you sit upstairs or downstairs, one thing is true: you’re a chaser of good vibes. And while you hopefully don’t laud yourself as a study space connoisseur for the decision to sit in the most aesthetic (I have never been biased in my life) space, you definitely enjoy the laid-backness and social vibrancy of the Library Bar.

You might even be such a stan that you line up at 11:55 to ensure you get one of the tables by an outlet (again, me knowing this says nothing about me), or maybe you’re just doubling down on your love of a well-lit room with endless amounts of luck, and you’ve never had to worry about a table in there. Couldn’t be me, but happy for you.

You also like how if you sit here long enough, it gets dark outside, and you’re already at a bar, so why not order a pint? (Or perhaps you already ordered one when you sat down at 14:30). You’re not as studious as the New Amphion fiends, but you get your stuff done all the same, and you credit the ambiance and sexy fun vibe for that success. Or maybe it was the curly fries?

Writers & Committee Rooms

Yeah. I don’t know anyone who actually goes to Teviot to sit in these spaces, but much like the New Amphion Study frequenters, you’re not a quitter, nor are you hopeless when you can’t find a spot in the Library Bar. However, you either hate the chill of the Sports Bar, or you simply need to feel more academic as you do your work, because you’d rather sit in one of the side rooms over the enormous downstairs bar.

You either have crap luck finding a table in the Library Bar (which was your first choice, because New Amphion is simply too much of a hassle and too busy), or you’re too shy to run to a table when you see people getting up.

You don’t want to stress out over a table, or maybe you’re coming in such a big group that the emptier side rooms are your only option for you all to sit together. You’re easy going and likely shy, or maybe just trying to come to Teviot at really busy times, but you find a table that gets the job done, so you also get your work done.

Sports Bar

Personally, I think the Sports Bar is a good space with a bad reputation, but this room is always freezing, and there sometimes are rowdy crowds there to watch a game.

With the Six Nations coming up, this is probably not the place to be for anything other than sports, but you also might be the type of person who thrives in a busy room. Your expectations for a study space are nonexistent, and you’re the most easygoing of the spaces—you will quite literally sit anywhere that will promise a pint and some fries, and I think that’s beautiful.

This is also one of the best spaces for large groups since there’s always a huge table available, so maybe you’re just the most social person alive and you love to study with your enormous friend group or study partners.

A game being on is a good break for you, too, since being in a sporty environment may be an even higher priority than getting the work done—but you could also come here when its dead empty and be studious regardless of your environment, and this makes you multifaceted.

Sports Bar Upstairs & Billiards Room (!!!)

If you didn’t already know, there’s a super cool (super dark) room on top of the Sports Bar overlooking the actual bar and the big screen, with plenty of plugs (!) but literally no light to work under if you’re doing anything off a computer.

It’s genuinely such a cool space, and I don’t know anyone who comes here, but simply knowing about it makes you a Teviot expert. You’ve shamelessly explored the entire building to get away from your studies for a five minute (10, 30, hour) break, and you know about the awesome room that is probably only used for the biggest sports games.

And you probably also know about the Billiards Room across from the upstairs room, and getting up there to play a game of pool is on your Edi student bucket list. If you have already played a game, you win. You’re better than the rest of us, but you probably think this, too, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

In conclusion

I think the one thing that can unite Teviot fans is how New Amphion needs to get a new, diversified playlist, because I swear to god I won’t listen to those instrumental songs anymore. I can’t do it, and I don’t know how the staff do, but free them from the shackles of that playlist. Please.

And I’m begging you, fix the freezer so we can get smoothies again. It’s been months.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• We asked AI to write a Tab Edi article and here’s what it came up with

• Clubbers of the Week: Week Two (mum if you’re reading this, that isn’t me)

• ‘To commit no flatcest’: The 19 most relatable New Year’s resolutions from Edi students