This is exactly which Brat song each UK uni would be based on vibes and vibes alone

The Brat album by Charli XCX isn’t just an album, it’s a state of mind. It deconstructs the “clean girl” aesthetic that has been shoved down our throats since the pandemic. It’s a shining beacon to all the late night, sewer rat, club roach community. And we love it. It’s if Lana del Ray, Sabrina Carpenter, and techno, had a baby. And that baby came out of the womb in neon fish nets and a hand rolled cigarette.

That being said, every song on the album has a distinctive vibe. I might say something stupid and Rewind are two very different musical masterpieces. It seems only right to designate a university to every song from the album, as the students are the ones eating it up on the dance floors of every uni club night.

So without further ado, here’s which Brat song each uni would be.

360 – University of Exeter

It’s literally every Exeter student after they’ve paid an extortionate amount of daddy’s money on marked up charity shop clothes on Depop. I 100 per cent know for a fact they’re looking in the mirror singing, “I’m everywhere, I’m so Julia.” And they’re not wrong. Exeter is Julia, Julia is Exeter. No slander just appreciation of the vibe.

Club classics – Durham University

Because there’s definitely an abundance of students called George and they love a classic subject x

And they have to dance with themselves all night because they’re slowly realising they’ve spent three years on a degree that in fact does not mean as much as if they had gotten into Oxbridge. Just keep dancing George. It wasn’t a waste of time.

Sympathy is a knife – LSE

Viewing sympathy as a weakness has econ written all over it. It’s giving a boy at LSE being 100 per cent the problem in a relationship and then somehow convincing everyone he’s the victim. They definitely do not understand the sanctity of the brat state of mind. Their club dance move is probably that super dumb head nod and two fingers bopping in the air combo.

I might say something stupid – University of Warwick

You’re trying so hard at uni and I respect it so much. A mild peppering of imposter syndrome in your tutorials is a universal experience. We all know you got rejected from your first choice uni but that’s okay. You are a brat, and brats don’t get insecure about their own intelligence. I don’t even know where Warwick is on a map. Am I sorry? Absolutely not. It’s brat.

Talk talk – anyone but Cambridge

We couldn’t run through what Brat song each uni would be without touching on Cambridge. I’m gonna introduce you to a new concept and it’s called chilling the f*ck out. Your manic stream of consciousness on every single thing that pops into your head is terrifying and intimidating. Just bop to the song, my guy. Funnily enough, no, I have not thought about what I’m going to do my dissertation on or what I’m going to do after uni – this is why we don’t invite you to pres.

Von dutch – University of Bristol

Keeping it humble. The level of self confidence is profound. They’re the person on the night out that is simultaneously having the most fun, has never ending energy, is the most drunk, and yet, is still the voice of reason. As soon as one of the friend group starts acting up they are there with the sober voice, Uber ordered, bottle of water in hand. Whether they have anything from Von dutch is irrelevant. It’s a lifestyle.

Everything is romantic – University of Edinburgh

Edinburgh students have no choice but romanticise their entire lives. In that gorgeous city, who wouldn’t? They definitely wonder around those narrow, inaccessible streets, blissfully ignoring the fact that they actually have to attend lectures in order to be Edinburgh Uni students. They romanticise their generational wealth and private boarding schools to distract them from Edinburgh’s horrific weather and atrocious student satisfaction stats. But no hate. That level of delusion is absolutely brat coded, no doubt about it.

Rewind – UAL

Rewind embodies the moment when UAL students realise there’s no money in avocado stained textiles and start wishing they’d gone into advertising instead. But they’ve started down this path, and committed to the bit. Will finances be somewhat hit or miss after the student loan drops off? Quite possibly. But you didn’t sell out to be financially secure in a corporate setting. That shows authenticity. Struggling for your art is probably the most brat one can be. So go off into the night and scour London for a drink costing less than £14, good things will come.

So I – University of St Andrews

When they figure out there’s nothing to do there other than get your heart broken and brood in the main character small town bubble. They go on long, contemplative walks hypothesising where it all went wrong. They put their name on St Crushdrews, what more could they have wanted? Go to the one club in St Andrews for a dance, dear. I would say there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but in St Andrews that’s just simply not the case.

Girl, so confusing – University of Manchester

It’s giving that kind of cool girl blunt honest truth no time for bullshit. They get nominated as Manchester’s biggest BNOC but didn’t find out until three weeks after the election was over. They sit in the blue area of the library, chatting more then anybody else there, and somehow finish their coursework at the same time. Mystical.

Apple – University of Leeds dropout

They left to find themselves in Bali, but also in a really endearing way. They’re a really nice person but did exactly what everyone expected. No hate for it though. It’s the thought that counts. They definitely assume everyone knows how to ski, but then offers to teach you when you say you can’t. A nepo baby with a heart of gold.

B2b – University of York

This screams York students contemplating whether to graduate or to apply for a masters just for the sake of it. York students feeling a lull in conversation resisting the urge to bring up that bloody goose that went missing. York students trying with all their might not to go out every night of the week because they got an extension. The York Uni Brat song of choice is B2b.

Mean girls – not University of Bristol

I know every girl from Bristol wanted to be this one. But I’m denying you that right, you’re not “real”, you’re unpleasant to be around. Be nicer to your parents. The amount you vape is concerning.

I think about it all the time – University of Nottingham

When they graduate from three years of hard core partying and immediately decide to settle down. That was enough life experience for a lifetime, take it easy now. Let your liver have a couple years to recover. Touch some grass, move to the country side, buy a gilet. You made it out. Congrats.

365 – Newcastle University

But specifically the students from London who move to the “north” because they heard the night life was good. You weren’t wrong but maybe tone it down. To be a uni student you do need to graduate. You might want to start talking about things other than going out.

Hello goodbye – Cardiff University

They literally can’t go anywhere without running into someone they don’t want to. I just imagine it being a perpetual state of fear. Always on guard. That one Freshers’ hook up haunts you throughout the entire duration of study, and it sounds horrendous. Thoughts and prayers.

Guess – University of Birmingham

I can imagine Birmingham rugby boys using this song as a horrid pick up technique. The cat calling in Birmingham haunts me. The men are BOLD.

Spring Breakers – University of Glasgow

All the Glasgow students I know are so lovely and chill until they have a drink in them. Good lord the banter. It’s funny but at what cost? They run their mouth and suddenly I’m insecure for the rest of my life. The jokes are funny just not when they’re about me x

And that wraps up what song from the Brat song your uni is. Now go forth into the clubs and do Charli XCX proud. It’s what she would have wanted.

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