Gap Yah and Batman: Here’s every type of girl you’ll find on Tinder in Exeter

Surprisingly, not every girl’s name ends with an -e, -ie or -y

Tinder in Exeter is a wild experience. And while you’re bound to come across a huge range of Exeter uni gals on the app, no two are quite the same. Before we delve into the types of girls you’ll find on Tinder, let’s start this off with a few disclaimers:

Number one: Who better to discuss every type of girly on Exeter Tinder than one of “the evil gays” Jennifer Coolidge rightfully thanked for her Emmy win last week?

Number two: I want to keep it real and proper; some of you girls left crumbs on the floor—not as bad as the majority of Exeter boys on Tinder leaving the whole almond croissant, but still.

Number 3: Girls, for the love of my lord and saviour, Ms. Olivia Dean, please choose anything over “still figuring it out” for what you’re looking for? Wouldn’t life be perfect if we could just normalise saying we fancy a shag or a man and be done with it.

And, number four: Keeping it feminism with a capital “F,” let’s recognise that Tinder is one of the most cursed dating sites. And, as such, let’s swear to never take it too seriously simply because, well, girls, you’re too good for the app.

Alrighty, with all that out of the way, let’s switch my Tinder preferences from boys to girls, lower my age range from the sugar daddy 40s and up, and have a look at what’s occurring on the straight side of Tinder.

1. The Gap Yah Girly

Starting off strong with a queen and staple of Exeter – the one who temporarily managed to escape the clutches of university for just a bit longer.

I will admit right now, the gap yah girly’s Tinder called me a poor third year student, quite literally, in five different languages while showing me 10 different animals that I thought had gone extinct. Your travels have given you a new lease on life, but more importantly, a whole new wardrobe too—I mean, you’re really out there sustaining the whole BoHo chic trend. Pictures of your travels most included the odd elephant, a sunset beach pic on some exotic island and having a natural shower via waterfall. Jealous doesn’t even cut it.

Of course, it’s not exclusively travels; you have to chuck in a prom pic or two from boarding school, maybe a cheeky stair pic in a gorgeous Manor House. If you’re worried about missing out on this, don’t; you’ll soon realise everyone quickly replaces this with an identical version taken at the forever constant Rougemont Hotel.

2. Gym anyone?

Of course, it’s not exclusively travels; you have to chuck in a prom pic or two from boarding school, maybe a cheeky stair pic in a gorgeous Manor House. If you’re worried about missing out on this, don’t; you’ll soon realise everyone quickly replaces this with an identical version taken at the forever constant Rougemont Hotel.

2. Gym anyone?

From the disorienting and cold vibes of PureGym to the high castle of St Sidwell’s Point Leisure Centre, why not present yourself as a health nut. I’d hate to tell anyone to change their Tinder; it’s all subjective, after all. But for me personally, a gym pic is just not the one hun.

3. The -e, -ie, -y girlies

The -e, -ie, -y girlies – or rather, the E-girls for those of you who watched the CBBC programme The Next Step growing up – pervade every other type of girly found on this list. The longest streak I went without having an E-girl pop up was a reductive three. Of course, we all know an Ellie, a Molly or an Aimee – beautiful names, don’t get me wrong, but they certainly lack the originality when stacked up against, say, Grimes’ and Musk’s three children: X Æ A-Xii, Exa Dark Sideræl Musk, Techno Mechanicus.

Making up the majority of the girls in Exeter, it makes sense to go through some other frequently seen things on the Exeter girls’ Tinder in this section.

The first being, if you don’t have “gin and tonic” included in your passions, I just don’t see this uni as yours, let alone “skiing” and “rugby” also being compulsory traits. A fourth and fifth are that all of you have dressed as a cowboy and/or police officer, though with the sheer quantity of themed socials, it makes perfect sense. If Halloween is the one night of the year when you can dress like a slut and no other girls can say anything about it, then a social makes any and every night Halloween.

A really important thing we also need to touch base on, and I can’t lie, girls, can’t believe there’s some of us working against the grain. No one should have “mullets >>>” in their bio. As someone who has survived a handful of mullets, if we stop the demand, they’ll stop making the misplaced effort.

The E-girls of Exeter, as founding members, I’m sure will always be here to stay, and they offer some of the biggest slays up there.

4. The disposable queen

Titling it “the disposable queen” is straight-up gaslighting on my end because, obviously, I’m referring to the disposable camera and Y2K digital cameras that have come back into fashion over the past year. No one’s disposable, just our degrees within the next five years.

On Tinder, it’s commonplace now for a disposable piccy to make it into one of your profile’s nine picture slots, just to show a little versatility and aesthetic. But for those who welcome a few more than one, well, it tells us a little more. For example, there ain’t no way you’re going to find yourself living on Pennsylvania Road when Old Tiv is right there. Nor are you going to tolerate any use of the overhead light – exclusively using those paper lamp shades or, and don’t get too excited, candles in a wine bottle.

Your days of TP are nothing but done, Fever’s a bit too freshy, and, genuinely, is Unit 1 still open? No, you’ll find the disposable queen lining up in the restroom of the subterranean soundscape that is Cavern to secure the mirror selfie for her Tinder. And, you know what? Go off, sis.

5. The ‘cool’ girl

I’ve been warned to be super nice on this one; apparently, this is what a majority of friends are going for on their Tinder profiles. The “cool” girl of Exeter has been called many names, such as the “pick-me” girl to unaspiring feminists, for example. So what? I respect it. When discussing Tinder with my friends, I found out it’s apparently a “sus” thing to post pics including your boy—pause – friends because it’s red-flaggy. So, the “cool” girl, you get cred for being brave enough to do that.

In Exeter, you’re doing it all – society ball pics in a body-con dress, attending the races in your dad’s hunting jackets, and, just to keep things going, the odd TP mirror selfie.

From asking someone to explain the stock exchange to time-independent perturbation for your quantum mechanics paper, some may be a bit judgy, but nah-uh, keep eating your cake.

6. Trigger warning: The Exeter college student

The jump scare, and then some, of my life was seeing the tag of Exeter College on some of these profiles. As someone daddy-issued and prude enough to have never dated younger (lol, or dated at all), there’s little I want to say about this one. But boys, swipe those signet-ringed fingers left; otherwise, you’re not just sharking, you’re doing the full Sharknado film series.

7. Batman – And keeping it real, I wished I was straight

Okay, before I started my mindless scrolling, never had I thought I could find myself kicking my feet like I’m straight out of a naughties rom-com. But when I tell you – a girl who writes that she only responds to the bat signal, well, I can admit when I’m wrong.

It was just a shame that she didn’t resemble Robert Pattinson – yet another unrealistic body standard, I sincerely apologise.