parklife 2024 chaos

Mudslides, fights and biblical rain: All the cursed Parklife 2024 chaos to cure your FOMO

Serves you right for going in the first place


After a year of patiently waiting and crossing our hearts, fingers, and toes for good weather, it’s safe to say that we got royally screwed at Parklife. Not only did it turn into a literal mud bath, but the energy was just off. I’m not talking about a few grumpy faces due to the absence of sun, I’m talking pure bad vibes. So now that you’ve finally recovered and are celebrating that it’s over, here’s a round up of all the Parklife 2024 chaos.

Parklifers were absolutely assaulted by the weather

Look, we live in England and it would be naive and frankly quite immature to expect a dry weekend in June. But the force at which the wind attacked Parklife goers last weekend was totally unnecessary. If the gale force winds weren’t enough, the rain certainly was the icing on top of the soggy cake.

Or just plain assaulted

https://twitter.com/UnmaskedAntifa/status/1800068374774628437

Why do blokes treat any social event as a free boxing match? No one wants to see you scrapping, I’m trying to listen to the gig. After last year’s bust ups, it’s no surprise that there were a few fists thrown but it’s cringey and embarrassing and just not the vibe.

‘People were just peeing in the middle of the crowd’

@imogenmatby

Work smarter not harder #parklifefestival #parklife2024 #fyp

♬ stop copying my video – nicole

The fact that this actually happened is absolutely insane to me. One Parklife 2024 attendee and chaos survivor, Bryony, a student at the University of Manchester, bravely recounted how she saw people urinate in the middle of the crowd because they couldn’t be bothered waiting in the huge toilet queues. She said: “There were people just peeing in the middle of the crowd at Kaytranda because it was too busy to get out to toilets.”

It’s giving middle aged woman at a Take That concert.

Everyone went home in clothes stained completely brown

@elexnor.x

It’s giving middle aged woman at a Take That concert.

Everyone went home in clothes stained completely brown

@elexnor.x

♬ Liquorice by Azealia Banks – 🧜🏾‍♀️

Again, a bit of mud can be expected at a UK festival. I’m not mad that it was muddy because it’s not a problem if you come prepared. But forgive me for not expecting waders would be needed to get around after the heavens opened. Would it have killed you to breadcrumb us a  few wood chips, Parklife?

Leaving was harder than getting in

@teagonralphs

feetivals are genuinely not for the weak (i am the weak) #parklife2024 #festival #fyp #parklife

♬ original sound – frankie

Now what is going on with the gates? Nothing could prepare you for the sea of people trying to leave at the same time. The scenes were something out of a war movie. Bryony detailed how the mud prevented people from leaving, resulting in a huge backlog: “Every entry and exit was like a landslide of mud you could hardly walk, people were using plastic bags on their head and feet.”

She explained that leaving was literally harder than getting in after watching a group of lads sneak in for free whilst working: “At the gate I was working at there was a rush of like 15 guys who snuck in past security think like half got in.”

How and why are there not more exits? We’re cold, we’re miserable and we’re completely brown, and we just want to go home.

The dead service zone

@cherryoliviarelan

waited on that concrete floor for 2 whole hours #parklife #plife2024

♬ original sound – Groove Supply

Sorry, but are we living in the dark ages? Tell me why it was absolutely impossible to send one measily iMessage slap bang in the middle of Manchester.

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