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Wilkinsons administration Wilko close down

RIP Wilko: An ode to the best shop on the high street

WHERE will we buy our reasonably priced bits and bobs now

We haven’t had a crisis this knee-buckling since Pizza Express nearly went under in 2019. Yesterday, the hero of the high street, Wilkinsons, revealed they’re on the brink of collapse and essentially have a 10 day window to secure a rescue deal— or the best bits and bobs bargain store in the business is done for. Wilko dies while WHSmith clings on? We live in a twisted world.

Fundamentally, Britain (a cursed country already) couldn’t be further from Great without the humble chain. Founded in Leicester in the 1930s, Wilko is categorically the only place you can buy gardening clogs, a rubber chicken, and fake tan in one fell swoop. So, in an attempt not to look back in anger, here’s a celebration of everything which has made Wilkinson’s magic for almost 100 years. Millionaire investors are you listening? Alan Sugar? Peter Jones? SOS.

The unrivalled and extensive pick and mix offering to cure any hangover

Nothing (nothing) is better than shuffling along to Wilko hungover and raising your blood sugar levels with a cup full of sweets. Strawberry pencils, fudge, jelly beans— it’s all there. You’re basically having a fun, innocent, girlypop afternoon out for the low, low, price of £2-£4.

A little treat for us all. Live, laugh, love.

An incomparable toiletries department to help us look glam 24/7

Tbh, you know when you’re going into a Boots or a massive Superdrug, you’re about to get royally mugged off. You go in for one concealer and then somehow spend over £100 on other annoyingly essential beauty products, which have all magically run out at the same time. Again.

At Wilko, the reverse magic seems to be in the air. New shampoo, cotton pads, fabric softener, concealer, mascara, after sun— your basket is full but somehow so too (still) is your bank account.  A high street miracle. God bless.

All the room decorations which made us feel like semi adults for the first time in our lives

When we moved out of our parent’s house for the first time ever, there was only one place we were going for fairy lights, cereal bowls, decorative dishes, cleaning products, lamps and bulbs. With its low cost Wilkinsons, which even offered an additional student discount on its low prices, allowed us to feel like semi-independent adults for the first time in our lives.

The shop is fair, fundamentally useful, and will be a big glaring hole on the high street if it actually goes under. Please God, take Shoe Zone instead. We don’t deserve this misery.

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